I want to start this off with an apology for not writing you sooner! The last two years have been productive but have been extremely hard for me personally. Many of those reasons were beyond my control and I needed to find a new way to deal with the changes to my reality that were beyond anything I had tools to handle. So I decided to take a step back to find some new tools and to also find my focus, as with so much chaos I lost sight of what I wanted in the process.
Looking back one of the issues that wrought much of the chaos that was keeping me from moving forward in any way meaningful was me chasing someone else’s dream. I also had a ton of old demons from my past that was drudged back up thanks to politics. I should say here I have Aspergers and deal with PTSD as in middle school and high school I was tormented, harassed, and even had adults throw bricks and lit cigarettes at me. Forty-something people tried to lynch me while walking home from school because my girlfriend at the time was white. There was even an article written about this in the local paper but not much came of it. These were not isolated incidents this was my life for 3 years! 13-16 to be precise.
So flash forward I turn on the TV, look at social media, hell even at guitar center, it felt that racism was on the rise. I live in North Carolina and so it’s not uncommon to see confederate flags, but 2016-2017 something different was and is in the air! Instead of waiting on something to come and save the day I got busy looking for a new solution to recconect with myself. One of the solutions that helped me was finding a new taekwondo school and reconnecting with my love of martial arts. I've always liked martial arts but life stuff kept me away. Anyway, look for more martial arts stuff as it's a big deal in my house. Any who, tangent complete. The biggest deal was truly reconnecting with the love of my life, my wife, Jeanine! I had become so afraid of losing everything that I had distanced myself from her and wasn’t talking to her about what was going on. It was until she said enough was enough and that we were going to go drive and I was going to talk! This gave me the push I needed to go find a new TKD school and find some new ways to understand how my brain works.
With the help of my wife, my kids, my mom, my granny, my therapist, my taekwondo school and of course music, I have been able to come back with a fresh bag of tools as well as a renewed sense of being! After just dropping the ball and having to disappear I know there is a ton of stuff and work that just didn’t get the attention it deserved. I still haven’t posted lyric videos or revamped the youtube channel and I’m pretty far behind on everything else in the world of AID. That being said, I relish in the opportunity I’ve been afforded to not really try or start over, but to continue where I left off and do what I, and the people closest to me, all know that I exist to do! I exist to create and share so that’s exactly what I’m going to do!
I’m not going to make any promises of specifics until I have finished product in hand. To elaborate a little bit more, I was a big Wizard Of Oz fan, and you weren’t supposed to actually see the wizard, so I’d rather give you something special and then tell you later how it was made. I know this is a bit spastic but I’ll explain more of what’s to come and “the plan” so to speak, but I wanted to let you know I am back and this time it’s for keeps! Thank you so much from the deepest, blackest, bottom of my heart. I thank you for reading and thank you for listening! I am eternally grateful for all of you, as well as your attention and I can’t wait for you to hear and see what I’m cooking up!